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Inspiring Success on the Road to Recovery

Monday, July 28, 2014

Freedom for Free

I really want to be free! Sometimes, I think that means an island with a high back chair and sea breezes. At other times, I think it means getting off the grid and dropping out of the chaotic, greed based society we live in. However, since doing either would present a certain set of challenges for this agey, sagey lady, I have been exploring how to feel the breeze inside, right here, right now.
In my world, soon after I ask for clarity I get that palm to forehead thump. Clarity arrived this time in the awareness that while dealing with a broken leg and other arduous challenges that had stolen my energy and joy in the past few months, I rediscovered that breezes on the inside are still possible. This awareness was a huge gift and ah-ha that arrived after I drove to Sedona with my granddaughter, to see another agey, sagey healing woman, Mariane Parisi. From the moment I walked in to her healing space, the connection was palatable, rich and refreshing.

There was an instant reunion of spirits and for the next two hours we soared in revelation and acknowledgment of having found a piece of ourselves in each other. There was no judgment, no evaluating of worth, no positioning, posturing, one-upping or editing — no hold out or hold back on the truths we shared. We told stories abut the most embarrassing moments in our lives, our failings and our ferociousness. 
We laughed and we cried together in joy. And I knew…the thing that frees my spirit is authenticity and genuine connection. This is a nearly a lost art, in a world where even our closest relatives all have cell phones and computers grafted to their hips. How can this be when clearly the way to freedom is deeper and closer!
The way to freedom is to have the courage to sit in the middle of every inclination to shut down and protect, hide and lie, pretend and pose, and choose to open…more. Real is so much more inviting. Insight, loving kindness, compassion and caring are the paths to freedom, yet these are the things we fear the most. They require being vulnerable and a willingness to feel.

A couple of easy steps on the path to freedom are to disconnect from the electronics and busyness. Don’t panic…just a few minutes each day will help. It’s about quiet time to reflect on what you truly want for your life. Ask yourself if your next step is going to take you there and identify what you are really feeling inside. It’s a time to ask where have I withdrawn to protect myself and what have I allowed to make me afraid? Every emotion will arise and that simply means you are a healthy human being who is capable of feeling everything from rage to rapturous love and respond to all of it with reason and safety. Feelings are not what we need to fear. Our response to them is what matters. By sitting with the feelings, we learn to relate to them from a place of safety and freedom without over reacting. A feeling is just a feeling. It’s what you do with them that matters.

Another step that will help move you to freedom is to always tell the truth. 


The truth does not need to be delivered with a sledgehammer, which is what most of us think of when we think of being excruciatingly honest. “Oh I can’t do that, it will hurt someone’s feelings.” So we lie…about our weight, our age, our feelings, our lack of feelings…okay everything.
If you stop a minute and just ask yourself how many white or darker lies you have told during the last week, you may surprise yourself. Everything from “No, I’m not mad at you,” to “Tell her I am not home.” We do it even though each of us is certainly capable of hearing, “This is not a good time for me to talk right now. Can I call you back tomorrow?” Or, “Yes I am feeling irritated right now but I am not clear why, so let me think about it and I will talk with you tonight when I figure it out.”
Connection is the path to freedom and meaning — connection to yourself and your feelings and connection to your path and the steps along the way. And incredibly important are the connections to those special spirits with whom you can dance in truth and meaning. So what are you waiting for? Freedom is waiting.

Dr. Evan is a life/soul coach in Arizona working with individuals, couples and corporations.  She  specializes in relationships, personal and professional empowerment, compassion and consciousness. For more information 602-997-1200, email drdbe@attglobal.net or visit www.DrDinaEvan.com.