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Inspiring Success on the Road to Recovery

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Commitments – Are You In or Out?

You said it. You meant every word, and you intended to do what you said that you would do. But, it didn’t happen. What did happen? What is the most important behavior to building trust and creating long-term successful relationships of any kind? Keeping your commitments!
This is the one key factor that sets the highly successful people and relationships in a category of being honorable. Ninety percent of our personal and the world’s problems and divorces result from people failing to keep their commitments. Politicos, heads of state, family members, partners and friends can point to the moment a relationship became skewed and doomed, due to a broken commitment.

So can you.

When you break enough promises to yourself, it won’t be long before you don’t believe in yourself any longer and others no longer believe you either. Keeping commitments to yourself is the reference point for doing the same with others.  That’s not selfish- it’s self-loving.
When you fail to keep a commitment, your brain immediately starts looking for excuse or scapegoat. You didn’t have enough time to commit to complete the project. It’s just you, how or who you are. You had to buy that television at such an incredible bargain. That is an incredibly disempowering attitude that is void of any personal responsibility.

The truth is that you are responsible for EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE and when you get that, you have stepped into a mighty place of empowerment. The problem with this reasoning is it doesn’t really solve any problem. No, you can’t single-handedly make the stock market crash, but you are in charge of your response to everything that happens to you.

Acknowledge that keeping commitments to yourself is very important to you. Because we’re each individuals, we are the only ones who know what’s best or special, in our life. Don’t trick yourself with comments like “Well that’s just how I am or who I am.”

It’s not!

When you cannot keep your commitments, that is simply a red flag telling where your work is. Failing to keep your commitments, large or small, will cause those you love to question whether or not you can be trusted about anything. Be impeccable with your word.  
When you agree to do something — do it as agreed. When you agree to meet someone, be there on time. When you fail to keep a commitment, you fail yourself first and the other person second.                        
Your loved ones and professional partners are measuring your actions against your words because your ability to keep your commitments, following up and following through on your word, is the single best indication as to what people should expect from you regarding future commitments. It tells them whether or not; you can be trusted to care for them and the relationship.
Be careful what you agree to because many people find it easier to say yes than no. It is better to only agree to what you can do. If you disappoint someone because of being over-committed or because you have difficulty saying no, you appear to be an unreliable people pleaser who frequently disappoints, rather than one who sets and respects his own good boundaries.
Don’t hold committing back because you feel it means you are locked in without any options. Not to worry, there is a way out: it is called renegotiating commitments. Your loved ones and your friends know that life sometimes gets in the way of your best intentions. When you are genuine and authentic, there is always a way to renegotiate an agreement that works for everyone. Being honest and direct about change leaves the other feeling respected and not abandoned or betrayed even when he or she does not get what they want.
So why do you think you came here at this time to this planet? Do we really think it was to buy and sell houses, go on vacations, dance in and out of relationships and shop the racks of Needless Markup and Saks? You came to stop playing small and start stepping into your power. That is why at a deeper level, we create all these experiences with rich, meaningful opportunities to grow.
Ethical process is more important than the end result or goal. Process is the grand teacher – reaching your goal is the gift. You win if you are truthful and change commitments you must change, with compassion and understanding.